Supporting a Friend Through Miscarriage
Updated: Aug 24, 2021
There is so much information on social media these days about what NOT to do when someone you know has a miscarriage….but what can you do to support them?
This has been a common question I have gotten since I publicly shared about my miscarriage, and through talking with the loss community, I have gathered up some of the best advice.
1. Acknowledge what happened. So many people are afraid to mention it, but tiptoeing around the subject doesn’t make it any better. It makes it worse, and makes the person who is living it feel isolated and alone. Follow her lead on how much she wants to talk about it.
2. Keep checking in. You’re not annoying. It shows you care. So many people are quick to give their condolences right away but then fail to check in as time goes on. Even a simple “thinking of you” goes a really long way.
3. Validate her feelings. Sit with her in her grief. Listen to what she has to say. It’s not your job to make her feel better, she just wants to know she doesn’t have to go through it alone. That’s all she wants. I promise.
4. Offer tangible help. If you ask her how she can help, she’ll never tell you she needs it. Instead, give specifics like “I’m dropping off dinner for you tomorrow - pasta or chicken?” Take charge and take some of the overwhelm off her plate.
Have other tips? Please leave them below. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. The more we talk about it, the more we remove the stigma, the less women will continue to suffer alone. If you are one of those women - my heart goes out to you. I see you. I validate you. You are not alone. And I’m always here if you need someone to talk to ❤️